The Lolo Down

That’s me! I’m the blue dot… Can you believe how far I have come? I guess so, considering I’ve driven all day for two straight days. I woke up in Nebraska and before I landed in St. Louis, I hit two other states. Four states in one day (not the easy, 4 corners way)! The highway took me into Iowa. I stopped to take a picture of the sign because my step dad Brian is from Iowa! Yay Iowa! It’s tough to take pictures of state line signs – often you just can’t stop. 

Then, because it was so close, I popped into Kansas. Literally in and out! But that counts! Then on into Missouri (no sign). If Nebraska was cows and hay – Missouri is trees and green and more trees. I bet Missouri has no forest fires – but lots of floods. Lots of waterways. The only dry things I saw were old cornfields. 
Missouri also has very fast drivers. They all drive at least 15 miles over the speed limit. Several passed me on double yellows even! And I was going the speed limit. So far Missouri drivers win for most aggressive. I have a feeling New York and New Jersey drivers are gonna make these guys look like fluffers!
I was going to eat BBQ in St. Louis tonight but at my crawdad pace it became evident I would be pretty late. So, I pulled over outside Kansas City and looked up “BBQ near me” on Google. I came up with a place nine miles away off the highway called Porky’s (http://www.porkysblazinbbq.com/). It was pretty awesome. Real basic… order at the counter, cash only, bus your own tables. I ordered a lot and now my (still working) frig is stocked! I loved the place because they had signs everywhere telling the customer what to do – and NOT do. It reminded me of myself at Jam! I love a good sign. 

I’m staying the night in the Hollywood Casino parking lot outside St. Louis… Again, free! Tomorrow I am going to visit the Gateway Arch and take my first ever gander at the Mississippi River. In the words of Clark Griswald, “the Mighty Mississip, the Ole Miss, the Old Man…Deeeeep River, my home is ooover Jordannnnah!””

Then I’m off to Cincinnati. My only decision is whether to go through Indianapolis or Louisville. I think Louisville because I can check off both Kentucky and Indiana before hitting Ohio. Thankfully it’s less than six hours away. I’m sick of driving all the live long day. Haha. Hard life!

So. About the mammoths. It is sad that so many perished in the sinkhole. However, the story is pretty interesting. The archeologists have discovered only male mammoths – and mostly teenagers. Zero females. The experts believe that these mammoths were most likely unruly boys in their herd – and were thus kicked out. By their grandmother! Granny mammoths were in charge of the herd in the mammoth world. So, these wild boys were sent off on their own and saw what looked like easy food around the hot spring that had opened up – and in they went. Duh!

I love that the women were in charge and not dumb enough to go for a swim in a bottomless pit! Ok, that’s all about the mammoths. Obviously it was one of my favorite stops. I even bought a ridiculous safari hat!

Today I drove. I have seen a lot of cows in my day – a lot. But, I’ve never seen anything like Nebraska. Hay, corn, soybeans and COWS! That’s it. I’ve never seen so much grass. And it’s green! At the end of September! Nor, have I ever seen such fat cattle. Wow. Nebraska cows eat very well indeed. 

That’s about it except for two things… I found the only bridge of its kind in the United States. It’s held up by a single pin and has held since 1932.

And this grossness. 

I am in Omaha and after seeing fat cattle all day I decided I needed a steak. I went to the place where Warren Schmidt had his retirement dinner in About Schmidt – called Johnny’s. It’s been in the same family since 1922. The prime rib was ok, the bartender was awesome but the place was depressing. It smelled like crushed dreams and mildew. 

I’m going to sleep now… In a Cabela’s parking lot. This is my ninth day on the road and I’ve spent $50 on campsites! Not too shabby – that’s why I justify eating steak on occasion. 
Note to self… I have more to say about the mammoths. 

You know when you just know something? In your bones? I knew there was something wrong. I stopped twice for confirmation and got none. Those were lazy, lazy people who didn’t want to deal with it – because there was something wrong!

I had one flat and another with weird bumps that were making a noise when I drove. For 1300 miles I knew there was something wrong. Today I got two new tires and Bird’s flying smooth. Woo hoo! Now the real vacation can begin. Off to Devil’s Tower and maybe some debauchery in Deadwood!

I feel like I’m in Winterfell and winter is coming. You can tell this part of the country is ready to hunker down. Sturgis was a bust… They had Main Street completely shut down for construction. I was super excited to see that Chris LeDoux was going to be playing in one of the big biker bars and planned to stick around… Until I noticed the small print that said “cover band”. I’ll pay that $5 fine for whining!

So, I rolled right through to get my Indian taco. Closed! Shit. I was bummed. I stopped in Custer at The Purple Pie Place (http://purplepieplace.com/) and had a surprisingly delicious piece of rhubarb pie. 

Then – on to Hot Springs to see the mammoths. On the way there I happened upon a wild buffalo grazing by the side of the road. Don’t worry, I’m not a YouTube fool, I stayed safely inside Bird. But I’ve got to say it made my heart dance!

The Mammoth Site. Holy cow! It’s extremely impressive. It’s a sinkhole that was full of water 26,000 years ago where mammoths would go in thinking it was shallow and then get trapped. They are piled in there. The remains were only first discovered in the 70s and so far they have found at least 61 mammoths. It will be decades before the excavation is complete. 

I took the tour and it was both entertaining and informative. You get an intern who takes you all around the active dig site. They explain everything and answer questions. As you can imagine, I followed him around asking way too many questions. At the end he proudly pointed out his bucket and excavation site. Then there are some amazing exhibits and you can even go down to the lab. I would call this a definite don’t miss if you’re ever in southwest South Dakota. 

After seeing the mammoths I had a decision to make. I was only 45 minutes from Nebraska – a state I’ve never visited. Or, go north into Minnesota – a state where I have been. Drumroll please…

They have these in Nebraska!

I’m in Chadron, Nebraska (In my head the town was named after a sweet gay couple named Chad and Ron) in a Walmart parking lot. I always go inside and ask if I can camp and these were the nicest people ever! I was even able to get their wifi signal in Bird! Needless to say I’ve been bellied up to my iPad catching up with the Kardashians and Joe Kenda, Homicide Hunter! I almost forgot to document my day. #SorryNotSorry

In the morning I am headed for Omaha. Let me know if there is anything there I shouldn’t miss (food, sites, weirdness). Then on to St. Louis for some BBQ, Cincinnati for some chili (4 way!) and then to Pittsburgh to see my old friend Thomas. I’m excited to see his restaurant – The Abbey on Butler (http://theabbeyonbutler.com/). 

I plan on taking one day for each leg until Pittsburgh and then head north through New York making my way up and over to Maine. I’m meeting Larry in Boston on the 24th and want at least five days in Acadia national park before that. Busy, busy, busy. 

Today was too much. I did too much. But, everything was so close together. I began by going to Deadwood. It is quite a town full of old buildings and history. Every room led to another – I guess for quick getaways! Wild Bill Hickok and Calamity Jane are both buried there. I love Calamity Jane because she said, “Thought about being a lady but then they told me I couldn’t cuss” and “I figure if a girl wants to be a legend she should just go ahead and be one.”

I went into one old casino and was surprised to see TONS of Kevin Costner movie props and pictures. Not just westerns – there was an outfit Whitney Houston wore in The Bodyguard. You could enjoy a seating area with an old fashioned tv and vhs player set up for watching his movies. I told the only dealer I saw (slow day) that someone must love Kevin Costner. He told me that Kevin Costner owns the place. A shrine to himself! He seems like that kind of guy. 

After a drink and a little shopping, I headed to Mt Rushmore.
MT RUSHMORE!! It was on my bucket list. I loved it so much. It’s amazing how exact the faces were carved. I walked around and then sat down for a few minutes and just took it in. As I was leaving an overwhelming sense of gratitude flooded over me. I’m not sure why… But mostly it was because I was there. I was present and aware how lucky I was to have the opportunity to be present. 

Tears poured down my face as I left. It was the damnedest thing. But wonderful. 
The day was growing short but I decided to check out the Crazy Horse monument. All I can say about that is I hope I’m still alive when it’s done. I seriously doubt I will. When complete, it will be the largest monument in the world! 
The story behind the monument and the man who started it is extraordinary. His children still work on it today. If you ever go be sure to take the bus tour for $4 – totally worth it. The first picture below is a to-scale replica of what it will look like when done. 

BTW – Crazy Horse is a completely privately funded project. Only visitor fees and donations. 
I think I’ll stick around for one more day. I want to see a site where there is an active mammoth dig. I also need to go to Sturgis. AND get an Indian taco!
I’m camping in a Cabela’s parking lot. Gotta love free!

Today I thought I’d check out Devil’s Tower before I headed into South Dakota. Instead I spent the entire day there. It’s pretty spectacular. Even though I knew it was going to be there, it still surprised me and made me giggle when it appeared on the horizon. 
I’ll be honest – I don’t think it’s possible to get the magnitude of this thing via pictures. I tried from all angles. There is a nice trail around the entire thing. I did it. I didn’t want to – but old ladies in flip flops were making it look easy. Whoop! My lungs were like stop bitch! Too much oxygen!

If you think maybe you’ve seen it before… You’re either old like me or a movie buff. Close Encounters of the Third Kind filmed the spaceship scenes at Devil’s Tower.

It’s also sacred ground to several American Indian tribes. The legends are interesting and you see prayer flags around in the trees. 

In an attempt to capture the scope of this rock, I shot a climber in red in the pic below. He’s just right of middle – with another guy above him. There were climbers all over the thing! It’s 867 feet tall from the base but over 1200 feet above the surrounding area. 

On the way out I stopped at a field completely full of the fattest (ok full figured) prairie dogs. So super cute – as far as the eye can see!

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I ended up in Spearfish South Dakota (yay for a new state!) for the night in a full service RV park, Spearfish City Campground. I had to cough up $35… the “shitter’s full” and I needed to wash the stink off in a nice hot shower. Plus I needed to vacuum my floor. Yes I have a tiny vacuum.  I can’t stand my bare feet on a dirty floor. 
I think I might need to spend at least two more days here. There is so much to see. The lady who checked me in gave me a highlighter and a map and then spent a good 15 minutes going over the highlights. So great! I’m especially excited about Indian tacos at Cheyenne Crossing! So, I’m going to bed squeaky clean ready for another exciting day tomorrow! 

Today was a whole bunch of driving. I woke up to a leak over my bed – awesome. Then I heard something weird and wanted to get my tires checked. Nothing was open. I finally found some dude who said they were fine. So I took off. And drove and drove. I kept thinking about the pioneers and how crushing it must have been to make it to the top of a hill just to see another one just like it… Over and over. 

Then they get to Devil’s Gate. It’s the craziest thing. A 20 foot wide crack in a 500 foot tall wall of rock. It’s not man made. Pioneers couldn’t go through it but  always hopefully checked it out. Then  they had to cross just south through Rattlesnake Pass. It’s a rare place where the Oregon trail, California trail, Mormon trail and the Pony Express all converge. There are really old honorary grave markers because a whole lot of settlers died there. 

I found it by accident – it’s not on my maps. But I figured out why pretty quick. The Mormons own the land around the national site (on BLM land) and exploit the crap out of it. They have an old timey village with serious fencing. You can’t get to the trail unless you go in through their “visitors” center and are led by one of their people out the back door to the trail. Fuck that. I skirted the perimeter looking for access but was denied.  It’s really pretty so I took pictures from a distance, drank a Coke and made an awesome sandwich. 

That was literally the only interesting thing I saw today. I’m a couple hours from Rapid City in a town called Gillette. I may be here a day… I have a flat. I knew it. 

Let me begin by stating that the Lola I love more than life is my niece Lola T. who is my namesake. She calls me aunt Lo. She is amazing… black belt in Taekwondo and symphony level violinist. She’s 12.  

That being said, there is another Lola in my life. She’s a mannequin head. Yes. You read that right. Here’s the story – at least what I can remember and/or found out. 

My dear friend Sarah Pinkerton (where ARE you, Sarah????) received the head in the mail from her brother Tim who lived in New York City. This had to be around 1987. We were all deadheads – including Sarah. The note in the box read, “a deadhead for a deadhead” or something like that. Sarah named her Lola and she immediately went everywhere with us. 

We weren’t always nice to Lola. I remember playing soccer with her one wild night. She had the last laugh by nearly breaking all of our toes! God knows the things she has had drawn on her. Well, I do know some things but will never tell (5th amendment and all). Needless to say she has had a LOT of “work” done!

I do remember taking Lola to Las Vegas in 1991 to see the Dead with my friends Sarah and Jen. I drove my RX7. There were three of us in a two seat car. Plus Lola. We got there and didn’t have anywhere to stay but had friends who had hotel rooms. How on earth did we coordinate before cell phones? Somehow Lola got left in Lorri Nucci’s room at the Flamingo. We were staying with Ricky and Carman at some place that no longer exists miles away. 

Jen had a little (!!!) more energy than the rest of us. When we woke up we noticed that Lola was there. WTF? After much persuasion Jen confessed to WALKING to the Flamingo, somehow finding Lorri, recovering Lola and making it back without anyone being the wiser. I have some seriously James Bond badass friends. 

So Lola made it back to Chico where I lost track of her for more than 15 years. I hear she traveled abroad. She lived with Jen in Hungary for some time before returning to Seattle and eventually making it back to Ricky in Portland. I saw her again during a Patron fueled Christmas tamale making party. I swore I would make her a proper website and keep in touch with everybody. Ah booze. I did keep in touch with Ricky but never gave another thought to Lola. 

I bought a restaurant instead. Jam made me break every promise I ever made. Anyone in that business will understand. It’s all consuming. Time moved on and yada yada yada… Ricky got very sick. I had no idea how sick until he died on July 21. One of his last Facebook posts was of Lola saying he had found her in his closet.
When I went to his memorial his mom, Ardis, gave her to me. I wanted to take her on my trip. When my artist friend, Brenda Dunn saw Lola (and watched as her ear fell off) she demanded to give her a makeover. She has never been more glamorous. Brenda put her in a special box just the right size. She fits in a section of my dashboard facing out – eerily exact. People ask me about her everywhere I stop. 

She’s like having a piece of all my friends who had her before are traveling with me. I know I’m incredibly weird but Lola makes me happy. I might put a sign next to her – #ISawLola. See what happens. 

Update:

As I was leaving a campsite my across-the-way neighbor ran out to talk to me. He said, “that’s some (and I thought he was going to say RV because she is a pretty Bird) head you have there.” I introduced him to Lola and told her the story. He continued to tell me how he went to bed with her watching and even though he knew she was there – she still scared him when he woke up. He thought I had her there to scare away intruders! We roll creepy with a side of creepy

When I finally stopped reading and got going this morning, I decided to continue up the dirt road. Almost immediately I saw a sign for Granite Hot Springs. But before I got there I came across Granite Falls. Yosemite, Telluride and this valley are the most beautiful places I’ve seen. 

Then I went on to the hot springs. It looked sketchy but I pointed Bird up that hill and I’ll be damned if at the end of all that there was an insane man made pool pumped full of natural hot springs. It was full of all kinds of folks. I do love a good soak but just wasn’t in the mood. 

Instead I took a hike on a horse trail down by the river. I did have to jump a small creek (hahaha) and landed in ankle deep mud. Shocking! It turned out to be a good choice because there was a hail storm but the trees sheltered me but pelted people on the people trail. The mud dried and shook right off. 

For sure – if you’re ever in the Jackson, Wyoming area you must must must check out the Granite Creek Canyon in Bridger-Teton national forest. There is a ton of free camping if you have a 4×4 or get lucky or there are $15 frigging awesome campsites. It’s a must see. 

Today began great and ended great – although much different than anticipated. I woke up warm under my blankets but it was COLD. I love it cold – I keep our bedroom at 65 degrees (63 really). I neglected to check the thermostat but I’m guessing it was 50ish. Yum. 

I got right on the road headed north. I went around Bear Lake and it was spectacular. I’m adding it to the list of places where I might want to live. I think the Idaho side. Then up through Montpelier and into Wyoming and toward Jackson – but not quite. I took a left toward Hosack because I wanted to stay in a free campground I read about in Granite Canyon. 

Did I mention I’m fearless? This campground was two miles down a dirt road with zero cell service. When I got there – via gps coordinates, not an address – it was not passable in an RV – a 4×4 was required for sure. But… rather than turn back, I continued down the dirt road. It was really nice and there was a lot of traffic. What the heck? I knew those cars had to be going somewhere. 

About 10 miles down a beautiful river side / granite cliffed road (took a while going 5-10 mph) there was a campground. You had to drive around to find your spot and then go back and pay… kind of like Thousand Trails – but without all the riff raff. All the riverside spots were taken, but for $15 I got a sweet spot in a gorgeous canyon.

I sat outside watching the river and reading until dark then made dinner while watching The Breakfast Club. That movie. Yes, I love that movie… Anyways, two ears of fresh corn with butter and Trader Joe’s chili lime salt (so good) and a steak. Oh, and a bottle of Cooks champagne – my personal favorite for under $20. 

I have had extremely spotty cell service on the road and none at night. I did finally figure out how to transfer pictures from my camera to my phone without any service or wires. It’s pretty magic. Now I need to figure out how to post the pictures to my blog. I do everything from my iPhone using the WordPress app and then attempt to upload when I do have service. It’s certainly more challenging than a computer. But I’m determined. Just as soon as I get to more wired civilization. 
I’m in no hurry.