The Lolo Down

First… Happy 50th Birthday, James!

Second, my legs are rubber! So many granite steps leading in and out of ocean paths. It is literally the last week of the season and it is still so busy. It’s difficult to take pictures without getting tourists in them. 

Today I walked from Sand Beach to Thunder Hole (haha). Air trapped in granite pockets is supposed to sound like thunder when waves crash. The sea was so calm today it was more like just Hole. No Thunder. I did, however, buy a magnet for my friend Susie that says Thunder Hole. 

It’s interesting. I’d say 75% of the tourists here are foreign. It’s rare to hear people speaking English. I like it. I heard from some folks that there is a back hike from my campground down to the ocean. I’ve yet to find it. I did find a lovely forest trail this afternoon. I had it all to myself. Have no idea where it went but it sure did make for a peaceful walk. 

Onward ♋+♊

I don’t like souvenirs but wanted to collect some sort of memorabilia on my trip. I like stickers but not on my bumper. I decided on Christmas ornaments. I love a Christmas tree and seeing what I’ve collected will be fun one time a year. NOT fun the other time (I hate taking the tree down). 


Now that I’m in the market, why does it bum me out that it is so easy to find touristy Christmas ornaments? I am one of billions who have embraced this idea. Ugh. I hate being a sheep. People eat sheep. But, what’s the alternative? Shot glasses? Magnets? Maybe, but stainless renders those useless. 

I’m a little drunk. I took the bus into Bar Harbor and went to a few bars. And then a few more. Then I missed the bus back. I set my phone alarm in order to not miss the next one (last one). In an effort to kill a few hours, I found my way into a Mexican restaurant bar. It’s where the locals drink and they keep refilling my margarita! Whoop! Gotta love bar people. I know I do. I think I’ve had five so far. The bartender is extraordinarily vulgar and amazing. Totally politically incorrect. 

So, I’ve found my way back to my campground and Bird. My bill for copious amounts of margarita? $8. I left $20 which was still a steal. The buses (“shuttles”) are free which is awesome – but unreliable which sucks. I made it back to the campground but had no flashlight so had to find my way to my site in the pitch black. No problem – but it did make me notice the sky. Stars like I’ve never seen. Ever. 

I really like it here. The locals are kind of giddy because the season ends next week (Columbus Day). I think I’m in for a good week here in the farthest point away from Vegas possible! My allergies are nearly non-existent! I may have to twist Larry’s arm and move out here for a change. Who knows?
Onward ♋+♊

One month on the road. Cheers. 🍻

I think I broke Larry. We had our big day in Newport and Jamestown on Wednesday. The next day I had planned a trip to Martha’s Vineyard – but I could tell Larry was tired (so was I), plus my friends had given us a great list of stuff to do in Providence. So, we got up Thursday and drove to Providence. We went to Nick’s on Broadway for brunch. It was one of the most spectacularly composed meals I’ve had the pleasure to eat. That being said, the service was excruciatingly slow. Our meal took two hours. 

From there we went to Federal Hill since it was right there. A few blocks away from our car I realized we needed to pay a meter. So, we went back and I put in money to park for a couple of hours. Larry seemed confused and so I asked (although I instinctively knew the answer) if he was ready to go. Yep. Not just on to another site – back to the hotel.  Even the very first Baptist church in America couldn’t sway him. For crying out loud – the man just wore a kippah and sat through a 45 minute lecture in a synagogue… and he’s Christian. I couldn’t believe it – and yet knew it to be truth. He wanted to go (home, really). 

I did demand on a hot wiener before we left Providence at Onleyville N.Y. System. Larry did not want one at all. I ordered their two wiener special. Guess what? Larry ate my second wiener. I was not pleased (they’re not that big and I LOVE a good wiener) and yet he happily chewed away in my face – intentionally antagonizing me!  OMG are those good hotdogs!!! Every single part from the steamed bun to the specially made wiener to the meat sauce, onions and celery salt. I could have eaten ten. 

When we got back to the hotel, I wandered around old town Newport while Larry napped and watched Fox News. I had a beer on the pier and did some reading. We went to a late dinner and Larry finally got his New England style clam chowder. He was not a fan of the clear, Rhode Island style. I have to agree with him. The RI kind was delicious but there’s something about that creamy, buttery New England chowder I just love.  I ordered a bottle of sparkling wine to celebrate our last night  of vacation. Party!

I thought we’d go into Boston on Friday because it was on the way back to pick up Bird at the shop. Nope. Not even a trip to Cheers could sway him. Larry wanted to get me dropped off and get back to his hotel next to the airport ASAP. I swear I wear deodorant! I didn’t even whine. I was back in Bird and on the road by 2pm. Larry wanted to go to bed early because he had a 7:30am flight.

I realized something on this “Larry” segment of my journey: I’m responsible for any and all  disappointment I just woite about. Larry and I have been married 22 years. We have taken many, many vacations together. I have always whined and complained whenever we did activities… even golfing. 

My entire youth was spent doing everything as fast as possible. Go go go. After I married Larry I poured all my energy into work and home and school and work. On the rare vacation I just wanted to lie down. R & R. Lounging by the pool. Naps. Kudos to myself – I finally trained Larry to be the perfect holiday partner!  

The only problem? Now that I don’t work like a slave all day, every day, I actually want activities! I don’t want to lay around watching tv. I do that at home for a living. I am a living and breathing juxtaposition. Larry is a saint for putting up with MY shit. 

Let this be a lesson to any youngsters reading my drivel. Be careful what you ask for. Especially aloud. I have achieved a great many things in my life that I didn’t realize until later I had literally requested. I loudly proclaimed I didn’t want kids. Check. I dreamed of a career that was all consuming. In my head that would be achieved as an attorney – not restaurateur. But Jesus did Jam take every ounce of my being to run. Check. One morning, while shaving my legs in the shower,  I mused aloud to myself that I should take over Imbibe (the huge restaurant next door to Jam). A few years later I did just that. Check. And oh how I lobbied for lazy vacations. Check!

I did reaffirm my love for Bird. You know that feeling when your vacation is over and you’re almost home? Me? I love getting home. Back in my own bed with my own pillows. I felt that way when Larry was dropping me off to pick up Bird. I told him I was excited to get “home” and he understood what I meant. 

I’m outside Bangor Maine in the Pumpkin Patch RV Park. It’s beautiful. I needed to charge everything up and make sure I’m ready to camp without services next week. I’m also trying to get on tomorrow morning’s Stephen King narrated tour. It’s three hours and visits more than 30 sites. If I can’t get on it I will return after my stay in Acadia National Park. I’ve read more Stephen King than any other author – by a long shot! The Stand is the book I reread every five or so years. It… Come on!!  I’m fucking taking that tour (said it out loud). 

The other thing on my traveling checklist was the fall colors. I had planned on being in NYC by now but with Larry’s visit and Bird’s mechanical issues I’m a few weeks behind schedule. Coincidentally, due to a severe drought the trees are very late in turning. Up here,!in mid-Maine, the colors are just starting to burst. They can’t outwait me. I’ve said out loud that I’m seeing them. And… as you now know, there is incredible power in doing exactly that. 

Onward ♋+♊

We had a full day today! I stayed up late last night planning our attack. We made it halfway through the list. We started with a good old fashioned diner breakfast at Bishop’s 4th Street Diner. 

Actually we tried to go see Boyd’s Windmill first but couldn’t find it. Oh well. From breakfast we headed to Touro Synagogue – the oldest synagogue in America. George Washington, John F. Kennedy and Eisenhower all visited. Bill Clinton got as far as the front door but wouldn’t go in because there was no back door. We took the tour (and got a fat discount due to my National Parks pass – thank you Susie Miller) which was very informative and also spent another half hour in the museum. 

Then over to Redwood Library – the oldest lending library in America. Unfortunately, we were too cheap to pay $10 each to look inside so we turned around and took a photo of the outside. 

Next stop, Fort Adams. I really thought we could poke around and leave. Nope – by tour only. I really wanted to see it for some reason, so we paid and took the tour. 

It was awesome. The guide was a war strategy freak. He answered so many questions. Then he extended the one hour tour by taking us out and then back in from the perspective of the attackers. He showed us how everything funneled into kill zones. Then he took us down into tunnels that led out under the fort. Those of us not claustrophobic also went through a side “listening” tunnel that was very tiny and dark. It was so Game of Thrones. And we got Tunnel Rat stickers! Whoop!

The only thing is that the fort never saw battle. It was built at the point where the British invaded and occupied twice before (American Revolution and War of 1912) and there was no way America was going to let that happen again. 

So, Fort Adams was never challenged. Over the years it was kind of abandoned and then open to the public as a what I can only imagine would be an AWESOME and creepy unmanaged park. It was pillaged as you would expect. In 1994 the Fort Adams Trust began restoring with money from tours. I love history and ate that tour up. The tour, however, ate up a good chunk of our day. 

Our next stop was Jamestown. We mostly drove through – end to end – checking out Beavertail lighthouse, Jamestown windmill (was closed) and other sights. 

My friend and former Jam staffer, Heather Munroe, is from Rhode Island and steered us to the south side of Narragansett Bay to Point Judith for dinner at Matunuck Oyster Bar. What a meal! We had Rhode Island clam chowder which has a clear broth, stuffies – which are quahogs with a chourico (how they spell chorizo) stuffing, clams casino, and more lobster! It was the best meal we have had by leaps and bounds. Cocktails and beer – out the door for just over $100. The deal of the century!!! 

By this time it was 6pm and we hadn’t even checked into our new hotel. Time to head to Newport. Good news… Marriott Newport is lovely. No hairs or foreign objects on the floors! 

We had planned to go to Martha’s Vineyard tomorrow – but I don’t think we will. It’s too big of a day for us elderly birds. We will either hit Providence or Boston. 

Onward ♋+♊

I finally have a reason for the voices in my head! According to the new astrological calendar I am both Gemini and Cancer! So I am three people! WTF? 

Today we left Wentworth by the Sea and headed south to Middletown, Rhode Island. We drove right under Boston to get there. What a sad disappointment our hotel is… Completely generic with a view of a parking lot and somebody else’s short curlies in the bathroom! Oough!

I begged Larry to move us for Wednesday and Thursday. We are upgrading to Newport after tonight… Hooray!

We did the Cliff Walk today – well half of it. For a short span you have to walk on boulders and Larry refused. Friggin party pooper. We got as far as The Breakers. The path goes between the Atlantic and huge mansions. Mostly we saw the ocean and super tall hedges. The really pretty, visible mansions were after the rocky path. All in all it was a nice walk – after which we were ready for dinner. 

We went to Anthony’s Seafood which was very highly rated and recommended by our (uh hem) hotel. I was so excited to have clams in broth! I ordered the little neck clams with Portuguese chorizo, pasta and broth. It looked and tasted delicious. But, they didn’t clean the clams and literally every bite was gritty. Total and complete bummer. 

And, oh dear God… Fox News is on in our room. It’s gonna be a loooong week!

Onward ♋+♊

Today we ate. Lobster and lots of it! We didn’t wake up until 9am and took Bird to the shop where she will stay until Friday. From there we went up to Maine, starting with Kennebunk and Kennebunkport. We wanted to go to one lobster shack but it didn’t open until 5pm. Nooooo! I remembered reading about another place that is a Bush family favorite – Mabel’s Lobster Claw. 

It was super shack-y and awesome. Plus, to Larry’s delight, there were Bush family photos everywhere. We had lobster rolls. I liked the lobster better than the last one – but not the roll – no butter. They also had the tiniest passhole (my name for the pass in a restaurant) I’ve ever seen! It was fun and delicious and then we moved on. Larry was wondering where the Bush family compound was – and what do you know? We stumbled right on it. Well like a mile from it – it’s pretty well guarded and out on a peninsula. Even had a Texas flag flying. 

We meandered up the coast and found the most beautiful church right on the ocean. I could get on board with going to THAT church. There was even an outdoor area with pews overlooking the ocean. The church itself was constructed of stones inside and out with intricate stained glass. It was the most beautiful church I’ve seen in this country. It was built in 1883 and named St. Ann. She was the mother of Mary and granny to Jesus. All I know is it is lovely. 

Then, on to Portland. It’s weird the similarities between the two Portlands. I almost feel like PDX is a knockoff of Portland Maine. I know! I can hear my people from Oregon screaming. But seriously. Beards, plaid, wood, hipsters, beer, beer, beer – and Portland Maine was here first. We wandered around and into Central Provisions and had a bowl of punch and some marinated olives. Yes, a BOWL of punch. It was awesome. 

Next stop: more lobster. We went to Portland Lobster Company and had steamed lobster dinners. Whole lobsters are a trip. Not a trip I plan on taking again soon if ever. It’s kind of gross when the guts pour out onto the other food on your plate. Thank Jesus for bibs. Eating a lobster is a messy, messy business. I like the claw meat and knuckles – but that poop vein in the tail was troubling. I definitely see why lobster rolls are so popular – and expensive. Worth it!

We shagged ass back to our hotel with a quick stop for treats and wine for the big fight tonight (i.e. debate). Tomorrow we head south. 
Onward ♋

I’ve never been on vacation long enough to have to cut my nails. Another milestone!  

Larry arrived this morning. Yippee! A partner in crime. Yeah right… more like a partner to keep me OUT of crime. He was able to check in to the hotel early and they let me park Bird. We are staying at Wentworth by the Sea in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. It is like a postcard. 

We had their Sunday brunch which was one of the best I’ve had. Lots of mimosas and Larry was ready for a nap. I was a little disappointed but understood. He did just take a red eye across the USA. He literally slept all day – is snoring this very minute. I took the longest shower of my life. Yessssss. 

Later in the day I took a walk around the grounds. They are stunning. When I took a photo of the length of the hotel I thought to myself the place looks like a ship. The grounds are landscaped beautifully with flowers that do not grow in Las Vegas (and it’s the very end of the season). No wonder Wentworth by the Sea is one of the most sought after wedding locales in New England. 

When I got back to the room I looked up the history of Wentworth. It opened in 1874 as the largest wooden structure on the state’s coast. And it WAS built to resemble the grand ships of that era. It was almost demolished by a wrecking ball in the 1980’s because it was in disrepair – but was saved and is now on the historical register. She is also known as the “Grand Dame of the Sea.”

I’m so lucky to get to stay here!

Onward ♋

Laundry day! And as a reward for doing said laundry, it was also… Lobster day! 

Clean sheets are the best. A lobster roll is pretty tasty. I’ll have to eat more lobster in a variety of ways to be sure it’s truly delicious. I think I’m spoiled from growing up on Dungeness crab. 

I did see some wild turkeys. I’ve seen quite a few during my trip but this was a flock (gaggle? herd?). They are lean birds – not huge and fat like you see in the grocery. I’m pretty sure I also saw a turkey buzzard. It looked like a turkey but was on a fence post hunched over. Reminded me of a the guard characters in the old cartoon Robin Hood – but couldn’t capture a photo. 

Tonight I’m staying at the Kittery Trading Post in Maine.  Tomorrow night I sleep like a queen in a hotel room. I can’t wait!

I’m not even gonna lie. Today I did nothing but sit around and watch tv. I didn’t even wake up until 10am nor did I take a single photo. I love a good lazy day! I had planned to find a laundromat but tomorrow is another day.

Onward (tomorrow) ♋

More reasons I like New Hampshire? No sales tax. The people all very nice and straightforward – no nonsense. “What’s that eh head there?” – about Lola. I LOVE the accent and hearing “wicked”. You know I love my Cowboys but I can certainly appreciate the Patriot fans. They are are deep rooted but not loud and obscene like the seachicken fans. 

I took Bird to the RV Doctor today. They had to order a part which will be ready on Monday. So, I’m staying in New Hampshire until Larry gets into Boston Saturday (more like Sunday morning). Then we will drop Bird off at the shop where they will fix her up and keep her securely parked for a week while we go gallivanting! That’s a huge relief. I really didn’t want to leave her unattended. Lobster, here we come!

Until then I’m between two little towns, Plaistow and Kingston, just hanging in a campground. I have cable tv which is a rare and wonderful luxury. As much as I love tv, I am dying to read my book. I’ve been rationing it because it’s the third in the Mr Mercedes trilogy (Stephen King) and I don’t want it to end! But I don’t think I can hold out any longer. It’s soooo good and weird!

I’ve always heard that if you do something for 21 days it’s a habit. I’ve posted to my website for 21 straight days! That certainly doesn’t feel like a habit. I’ve lived on the road for 21 days now and that does feel like my new normal. 

Onward ♋